The Raven, The Maiden, The Mother, and The Other One
by TheWorldsTallestLeprechaun
Summary: Multiverse shenanigans result in a hilarifying idea, (hilariously horrifying/horrifyingly hilarious) where we ask the question, "What would happen if Raven took on an 'apprenticeship' with Esmerelda Weatherwax. Hear that? That's the sound of every criminal in Jump City wetting themselves in unison and having no idea why.
I do not own the Teen Titans or the characters from the show. Also, I do not own Discworld or it's wonderful, horrible people. This includes any other characters from various works, be they comic, cartoon, anime, book, movie ,webcomic and good lord I'm going to be doing this all night aren't I?

Well, anyway, if you recognize a character, then I don't own them. If you don't recognize a character off-hand, but the name sounds very familiar, then I don't own them. Any characters who are OC will usually be obvious and if they resemble an established character or a real person, it's purely by accident and coincidental.

This story comes from a concept that I felt was too awesome to leave it lie, and the 'reasoning' behind it will be at the end of the fic. For now, have a read and hopefully a little fun with it.

The Raven, the Maiden, the Mother and...the Other One

Chapter 1

The Multiverse is real. Gates have appeared and allowed nearly free travel between worlds, but only for those individuals of good quality and vast importance to their native universes. At the laypoint between dimensions is the Observatory, a vast repository of information where those traveling across the multiverse may read and understand more about the varying universes and the laws governing them.

Rachel Roth, otherwise known as Raven of the Teen Titans, is leaving the Observatory following a lesson on magic, though 'Lesson' is not the most appropriate term, as numerous varieties of sorcery are unable to be used outside of their native universes or the Observatory. On her left is Zatanna and Raven is having something of an intelligent discussion with the slightly older heroine on the "Fae" magic of Contracts, Clauses, and Catches.

On Raven's right are two sorcerous hero's from other dimensions; a man calling himself Doctor Strange, wearing a red cape with a very large collar over a light blue shirt with a few eldritch symbols on it and a simple pair of slacks; and the other a supposed succubus calling herself Dabbler. Raven had idly wondered how anyone could find a 4-armed, cloven-hooved, purple-skinned demon to be sexually appealing, though she had to admit (with a touch of jealousy) that Dabblers _other_ physical attributes made up for her otherwise unusual appearance, which she'd chosen to enhance by wearing cutoff short-shorts and a too-small black tank top.

As they made their way to the Gates, a voice called from behind the quartet, making them stop and turn as their teacher from earlier jogged up to them. A red-headed man with a somewhat scraggly beard and mustache, wearing jeans and a button down shirt called out "Hey, Ms. Roth? I need to talk to ya for a minute." In a slight southern twang.

Raven said "Okay." with a touch of hesitation, though that did not stop her from saying "Can I talk to you again, Zatanna?"

"Of course." The leaguer replied with a smile "I'll pass my number along to your teammates when I get back."

"Miss Roth," Dr. Strange held out a hand. "It was an absolute pleasure meeting you."

The empath blushed, sensing the sincerity radiating off the rather handsome older man and accepted his handshake. "It was...nice to meet you too, Doctor."

"Hey, think you could stop by Archon sometime?" Dabbler gave Raven a wide and slightly mischievous grin. "I'm sure Sydney would _love_ to meet you."

"That depends." Raven narrowed her eyes as she asked dryly "Do you promise to never pinch my butt again?"

The succubus pouted, the strange ear-like protrusions jutting from her brow sagging slightly as she said "Aww, but that's no fun." Then she perked up again and said "Oh well, I tried," And turned to walk away, waving with her top left hand and calling out "If you ever change your mind, let me know!" In a flirty voice that made Raven's right eye twitch.

Their goodbyes said, the other three left Raven with their 'guide' for the last hour. Turning to the man, colloquially known as 'Cowboy', Raven asked "So, what did you want?"

"Alright, I was thinking a little while ago about something you said; how it was a shame that so many types of magic just can't be taught or learnt' outside their universes." Cowboy grinned as he said proudly "Well, I have realized that you **can** learn something from other types of spell-slingers, and furthermore, I know the _perfect_ woman to teach you a...new way of doing things."

Raven cocked an eyebrow, a corner of her lip quirking up slightly. "Oh really?"

"Yep. I think you should become the apprentice of Esmerelda Weatherwax. The greatest witch in the Multiverse."

Raven's eyebrow remained in place, though the fractional smile which had started to form faded as she said "You think I should learn witchcraft?" In a subtly offended tone.

"Hey, it ain't like that." Cowboy frowned at her. "Granny Weatherwax is an _Old-school_ witch, like, she acts as an emergency mid-wife just as much as she rides around on broomsticks. And besides," The redheaded man gave the young sorceress a smirk "You ain't gonna learn anything from her until you pass a _very_ simple test." Taking her silence and interested look as assent to go on, Cowboy declared "Darlin', you have to figure out how to say 'Pink Rhinoceros' to someone, and **not** immediately have them picture one in their head."

Raven cocked an eyebrow and let out a flat, "What."

"You heard me right. If you can't figure out how to say 'pink rhino' and not have the person who heard you think of one, then you can't be Ms. Weatherwax's apprentice." Cowboy's smile warmed and he patted the teen on the shoulder, making her look between his hand and his face with a bit of suspicion as he added "Trust me on this, I know it sounds weird, but there's a damn good reason for it. And if you do figure it out, you'll learn a hell of a lot more from Granny Weatherwax than you could learn in an entire library of dusty old books."

Raven felt the appreciation and honest desire for her to strengthen her powers from Cowboy. Looking down for a moment, she thought (Well...it couldn't hurt, I suppose.) before meeting his eyes and saying "I'll think about it...thanks for the advice."

"You're welcome, darlin'." Cowboy smiled as the sorceress left, then turned to make his way back to the Observatory. He hadn't traveled far however, when he heard a snickering from nearby and stopped. Looking to his left, he frowned at the sight of a man in his mid-twenties, wearing a t-shirt, black sweatpants and sneakers leaning against against a nearby alcove and chuckling to himself. "What's so funny, Tattoo?"

Tattoo, so named for the 1-inch thick black stripes and bands covering his body, said "Oh nothing much. Just that usually _I'm_ the one who screws up as badly as you just did."

Folding his arms, Cowboy narrowed his eyes at the chortling eavesdropper "And how did I screw up? You know Granny Weatherwax could teach her a hell of a lot."

"That she can, that she can." Tattoo nodded in affirmation. Then the man grinned wickedly at the redhead and said "Except...you didn't ask Granny if she wanted an apprentice, _**before**_ making the offer to Raven...did you?"

Cowboy blinked. Then his eyes widened as his face slowly drained of color, while the inked man started cackling and walked away from the suddenly horrified redhead, calling "Oh _dude_ , you're gonna f**king _diiiieeee!_ " Over his shoulder.

-later-

"A pink rhinoceros?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Is that a particular species of the creature you call a rhinoceros?"

"No, Star. Rhino's are only grey colored."

"And green!"

Suiting word to action, Beast Boy immediately turned into one and snorted, making Raven sigh "And green…"

Sitting in the Titan Tower's common room, Raven had told her team about what she'd learned at the Observatory, and the offer she'd received. Ignoring Beast Boy as the changeling returned to his natural form, Robin asked "Think he wants you to make a spell of some kind?"

"I don't think so." Raven shook her head. "Manipulating someone's mind to make them not think of something, even when it's really specific like that, is pretty complicated."

"What if you cast a spell that affects someone's hearing?" Cyborg asked while rubbing his chin. "If they can't hear the words 'pink rhino', then they can't think of one when you say it."

"It sounds like a riddle to me." Beast Boy's nose scrunched up as he puzzled over the strange test "Ugh, I was never any good at riddles. This is why I stick to jokes, nice and simple."

"You sure that's not because you're kinda simple?" Raven deadpanned, which earned her an offended look from Beast Boy before she sighed and said, "You're right though."

"I am?"

"It's gotta be some kinda riddle, or he wouldn't have said it was simple." Thinking on what else she'd been told, Raven's eyes narrowed, "But what could I learn from an 'Old School' witch? Even if we still used midwives here, would anyone want _me_ to do it?"

"Well, it's basically playing catch." Beast Boy chuckled "And your magic stuff probably doesn't have any germs on it."

"Oh yes, let's have the first thing a newborn infant come in contact with is a wave of pitch black energy." The sarcasm dripped off of Ravens words while Beast Boy's soft laughter trailed off, his embarrassment obvious as she muttered "I just need to take some time, and figure it out for myself."

-4 days later-

Gizmo's muffled cursing as he was hauled into the back of a police van, the tangled wreckage of his spider legs wrapping around him like a straight jacket, didn't bring as much satisfaction to Raven as it should have. The empath simply muttered "Good riddance…" Under her breath as he and the other members of the new Hive 5 were taken into custody.

In the days following Cowboy's challenge, the riddle had niggled at the back of Raven's mind, behaving more like the proverbial tale of man who would only be cured of an incurable disease if he spent a full day without thinking of an elephant. Trying to put the idea out of her mind wasn't working, as she'd only be moments into some kind of calming activity, when the image of the very thing she was trying to figure out how to make someone **Not** think of would jump into her mind. Her meditations always ended up interrupted and she'd even had to resort to alternative measures to keep herself occupied, lest she become as obsessed with the riddle as Robin had focused on Slade when the villain had been raising cain across the Jump City. To be fair, she did understand the appeal of Beast Boy and Cyborg's games as a method of stress relief, but still…

"Hey, Raven?"

The sorceress turned at the sound of Cyborg's voice, smiling warmly as usual "When we get back, you and me try again with V7 Racing? Best 8 out of 15?"

Raven returned his smile, though it was tinged by frustration as she replied "Sure, Cyborg."

Noticing the relative lack of enthusiasm, Beast Boy shifted out of the gorilla morph he'd been using to haul Mammoth into a jumbo-sized van, specially designed for large law-breakers, and said "Come on, Rae. Can't you forget about the rhino thing for a little while?"

Raven paused and Cyborg gave Beast Boy a look of disbelief and weary resignation. "You just _had_ to say it, didn't you?"

Beast Boy eep'ed as he realized his slip of the tongue while Raven slowly turned on him, 4 glimmers of red barely visible under her hood. Before the changeling could take an unscheduled and unwanted trip to an astral plane, he heard a small voice nearby ask "What's a rhino?"

BB spotted a little boy tugging on his mother's sleeve just behind Cyborg, one of the many civilians who'd come out of the nearby buildings following the defeat of the villains who'd attempted to rob a nearby jewelry store. Brushing past Raven quickly, hoping that the presence of a innocent victim would save his green hide, Beast Boy didn't notice the half-demon's annoyance disappearing quickly and being replaced by a a look of wide-eyed shock. Stooping over with his hands on his knees, Beast Boy smiled too widely at his potential life-saver and said "Do you want to see a rhino, little guy!?"

The boy nodded, his eyes lighting up as the superhero instantly turned into a 1000+ pound mono-horned tank, prompting him to say "Wow! That's cool!"

Morphing back quickly, BB chuckled and said "Yep, and I can do a lot more! You wanna-"

"Beast Boy."

The shapeshifter stopped and gulped audibly before slowly turning around to see Raven staring at him. He noted with some relief that her eyes weren't glowing red and she didn't look mad, but there was still a worrying expression on her face as she stared at him with wide eyes and a stunned expression. Then her hands came up and Beast Boy found his cheeks pressed between her palms, and before he knew what was happening, his vision was blocked by a wall of pale grey skin while something very smooth and warm was being pressed against his lips.

Cyborg's jaw hit the street so hard, the pavement cracked underneath him as Raven kissed Beast Boy. He wasn't alone as Robin's eye started twitching and Starfire covered her mouth in both hands, the beginnings of a delighted squeal starting to form as the empath broke off. Raven looked at Beast Boy, who blinked rapidly as she breathlessly said "Thank you!" And flew away, leaving behind her teammates who slowly tried to come to grips with what had occurred.

Beast Boy was the first to find his voice, asking quietly "Did Raven just-"

"Yes."

"Yeah."

"Yes!"

Affirmation from his leader, best friend and the maniacally grinning redhead was all the confirmation BB needed and he said "Oh...okay." In a calm voice, moments before his eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted dead away.

As Cyborg scooped up his best buddy and Starfire started flying in circles at highspeed while giggling happily, Robin said aloud "Of all the things I've seen. And all the things I never thought I would see... **that** was at the top of the list."

-Discworld (Lancre)-

Raven muttered to herself as she worked her way up the winding path, wishing she could cheat and fly up to the home of this 'greatest witch in the multiverse', if it wasn't for the warnings she'd been given after telling Cowboy that she'd figured out the answer to Weatherwax's riddle.

 _...don't use your powers unless you_ _ **have**_ _too! If she sees you floating everywhere instead of walking..._

 _...dress in stuff that's simple and practical…_

 _...you're gonna get dirty, so don't wear_ _ **nice**_ _clothes…_

 _...be good to her and listen to what she says, and do what she asks…_

 _...while she appreciates a bit of snark, don't go overboard…_

 _...be nice to her cat, a white kitten named You...yes, really…_

 _...don't get frustrated if she doesn't mention a word about magic…_

"Right." Raven grumbled as the soft dirt stuck to the bottom of the pair of boots she'd had to buy, along with the carpenter jeans and button-down shirt cause a cape, hood and leotard weren't simple or practical. "I shouldn't be mad if a witch I'm supposed to be learning magic from won't teach me any magic. That makes so much sense…"

The empath fell silent as the house came into view. She'd been expecting something of a cottage, though one a fair bit more 'witchy' than the straw-roofed, single story cobblestone hut before her. Noting the relatively clean appearance of the place, Raven felt a little concerned as she reached the door and gave a tentative knock. A few moments later, there was the sound of heavy footfalls and Raven wondered briefly if she was at the wrong place, as it sounded like some kind of farmer was coming to greet her. Then the door opened and an old woman was eyeing her up in a way that made Raven briefly reconsider this whole arrangement.

While not overly tall, there was a presence about Weatherwax that made her rather intimidating, even to Raven, who'd faced down things both human and not, which were much larger than the steel-haired woman before her. While not beautiful, she was certainly far from bad-looking as she lacked any of the normal characteristics of a witch, with a well-defined nose rather than a long and crooked one, and not a wart to be seen. Her steel-grey hair was done up in a bun with numerous needles poked through it, making Raven wonder if they were to maintain her style, or as something to shank people with if they annoyed her.

"So, you're miss Roth?"

Raven shook herself a little and nodded quickly. "I am." After a moment of hesitation, the sorceress said quietly "Can, I come in...miss Weatherwax?"

Granny took a moment to study the girl and make sure she was properly nervous, and thus respectful before saying "I suppose you can." Before looking at the grey-skinned girls choice of attire and clucking her tongue in disapproval. "Well, you're at least prepared ta' get your hands dirty."

Raven blinked "Excuse me?"

"Can't be havin' with them new fashions." Weatherwax said as she stepped aside, allowing the empath to enter while looking meaningfully at her pants "Givin' witless men all kinds a thoughts, showing your legs like that."

Raven looked down and then back up at the old woman, frowning slightly even as she walked inside the house. "My legs are completely covered."

"They can still sees you got 'em."

"...I guess." Raven admitted a little sullenly, while privately thanking Cowboy for warning her against showing up in her Titan uniform, and cursing his name for not mentioning that the old woman had weird ideas about modesty. "But the only ones here are you and me, so that solves that, doesn't it?"

Weatherwax eyeballed Raven for a moment, prompting the empath to swallow nervously before she caught a glimpse of the old woman's mouth quirk up for a half-second. Then it was gone and Granny said "I was just about to go out to my garden. If you want to help an old woman for a bit, then I'll be done quicker and we can talk a little."

Sensing that this was less of a request and more of a tit-for-tat, Raven nodded and said "Fine. I can do that." While rolling up her sleeves. Granny cocked an eyebrow with interest at that, which Raven noticed and sarcastically threw out "What, is there a problem with my arms too?"

That made the old witch scowl and if there was one thing that Raven suddenly wished she never saw again, it was Granny Weatherwax's disapproval. Her knees suddenly shaking, Raven held very still as the old woman approached her. The sound of Rude saying (Oh, you done fucked up now…) prompted her to shush the unwanted emoticlone as Granny stood in front of her and gestured to take the Titan's hand. Raven complied hesitantly and the 'other one' of the Lancre coven brought the younger girl's hand to her face, staring at the grey palm intently and began muttering under her breath.

The sorceress had a brief flash of wondering whether the old woman was reading her palm or casting a curse on her, when Knowledge spoke from the depths of her psyche (Her hands are pretty rough.)

(Please, she can't hurt us!) Brave scoffed (She's not even grabbing that hard, we're fine!)

(Umm...I don't think that's what she meant) Timid offered hesitantly.

(Exactly, thank you, Timid) Knowledge continued with a touch of haughty irritation (What I mean is, she has a lot of callouses on her fingers and palms, meaning she does a lot of hard work.)

(So, what's that got to do with the old crone reading our palm?) Rude asked in a bored tone.

(I don't think she is…) Raven's eyes widened realized as she connected the dots and her emoticlones fell silent. (She's looking to see if I've got callouses too.)

Despite her new realization that the old witch wasn't hexing her or discerning her future, she let Granny continue mumbling and studying her hand for a few moments more, which ended when the older woman met the young empath's gaze. Dropping her wrist with a sniff, Granny said "Well, it looks like you've got some potential..." As she turned and walked towards the backdoor of her cottage. Raven looked at her own hand for a minute, noticing for the first time that she had a few bumps across the base of her fingers, opposite the knuckles.

(Where did I get...) Raven blinked as the memory of passing Cyborg a wrench while he worked on his 'baby' came to mind. (Huh...now that I think about it, I don't use my powers very much when I help him with that, do I?)

"What're you waitin' for?"

Startled out of of her minor epiphany, Raven called "I'm coming." in response to Granny's summons, where the old woman was standing just outside her door and glaring inside. As Raven left the house and caught sight of Granny Weatherwax's garden, the theme of the 'Greatest Witch in the Multiverse' was becoming clearer by the minute, and she wasn't too surprised to see a wholly non-magical vegetable garden, rather than an assortment of mystical and/or toxic herbs and plants.

As Granny approached a stand of tomatoes and began inspecting them, she tossed over her shoulder, "Check the carrots for weeds, my dear? Old woman's back ain't what it used to be..."

(Old woman my a-)

Raven hit the mute on Rude's internal microphone, then headed for her 'chore', ready to get her hands dirty and find out more about the mysterious old woman.

-later-

Raven winced as she hauled the water bucket up from Granny's well, the rough rope stinging her hands slightly as she pulled on it. While not a total stranger to hard work, the sorceress found herself doing a fair bit more than she'd been expecting once she'd realized that the older woman wanted to see what she could do with no magic. Her delicate skin burned a little at the numerous abrasions from the labor of the past hour, and she was looking forward to washing her hands before bringing the old witch the water she'd asked for, not that it stopped the empath from grousing internally.

(Right, she respects _hard work_.) Raven snorted (Which is why she checked her tomatoes and then told me what to do while doing absolutely nothing else because 'her back ached' or 'her art-right-tiss was acting up' or her 'loon-bag-oh was cramping' and that's not even a real _thing_ -!)

As her irritation rose, so too did a nearby rock, which briefly took on the appearance of a chunk of solidified ink before shooting off into the sky. Raven caught a glimpse of the impromptu launch and her eyes widened in shock as the stone was lost in the sky, before closing her eyes and whispering _"Azarath Metrion Zinthos…"_ under her breath while taking a few deep breaths. Her emotions firmly under control once more, Raven finished pulling up the bucket and grimaced at the sight of something less than crystal clear spring water.

(Are those...newts!?) Raven swallowed hard before dabbing a hand into water which had transformed in her mind from 'possibly palatable' to 'a few days maturation from being qualified as pond scum' and using the tiny amount to wipe away some of the muck from Weatherwax's vegetable patch. (One of the only good things I ever got from being half-demonic,) Raven mused as she tipped the bucket back over the well and let the little lizards who'd been caught in the wooden prison fall back into their dank, damp home, (Is being immune to normal viruses and diseases...still, note to self: boil the water for 30 minutes before trying to make tea with it.)

Satisfied that the water was as clean as it was going to get, Short of a modern, heavy-duty water purifier, Raven headed back towards the cottage, thinking (If this new way of doing things means drinking from water that I don't even want to _think_ about what those newts have been doing in, then I'll say my goodbyes, find Cowboy, and stick his magic wand up his astral plane until he can't say 'abracadabra' without coughing up splinters.)

The thought gave Raven some comfort, although it was diminished somewhat by the hairs on the back of her neck standing up as she got the feeling that she was being watched. Turning around, she looked out over the surrounding woods and briefly sent out what amounted to an empathic sonar, which would ping on anyone in the vicinity. What she got back was one grouchy old woman somewhere in the vicinity of 'behind' her, which was unsurprising, but despite the fact that the only other presences were of animalistic intelligence, there was a curiosity which was far too 'sharp' to belong to a mere animal, and an undercurrent of thick hostility that no human could hope to match.

Raven narrowed her eyes, and readied herself to go out and find whatever demon was lurking nearby, when Granny called loudly "Did you fall in, girl!? Hop to it!"

(Old crone) Rude grumbled while Raven collected herself, thinking that whatever abomination might be nearby, it probably didn't want to mess with the old woman she now had to share the **wonderful** company of.

Near the base of a large oak tree, underneath a convenient bit of shrubbery, a pair of eyes gleamed as they watched Raven enter the house. Studying the maybe-bird warily for a moment, the slitted orbs of milky white and light green vanished into the shadows of the woods.

Between Lancre and Granny Weatherwax's cottage, a young upstart wolf who'd tried and failed to become alpha of his pack, prowled a meadow in search of prey. With the relative intelligence that a wolf is capable of, diminished a fair bit due to the arrogance of youth, the beast caught a whiff of something registered as temporarily-living-meat, and moved in for the kill.

Somewhere in the woods of Lancre, the sound of low, threatening growls echoed for a few moments, only to become startled yipes of fear and pain that ended in an abrupt fashion, foreboding fashion.

Hearing the sound, the alpha of the nearby wolf pack cocked it's half-an-ear briefly before shaking it's head, as though commenting on the folly of youth while several of the many thin claw marks adorning it's hide ached slightly.

Hopefully y'all are enjoying this, with those familiar with Discworld probably familiar with who the mysterious demon is, and how it's going to be SO delightful during a later chapter.

This story is a 'standalone' for a Mega-Crossover fic which has been a WIP for a very long time, and depending on what people think of this story, it might give me enough hope to put up the fic itself rather than have it sit in a hard drive in the limbo of 'Edit/Finetune/SACK UP AND POST IT, YOU WUSSY!'

Hope you all enjoy it! Chapter 2, coming soon!.

Granny Weatherwax is a creation of Terry Pratchett. (God bless that man)

Raven and Zatanna belong to DC comics

Doctor Strange belongs to Marvel comics

Dabbler was created by Dave Barrack, of the Webcomic Grrl Power.

Cowboy is an OC, and a Mage based off of the World of Darkness Tabletop RPG by Whitewolf Publishing. (New World of Darkness, Mage the Awakening)

Tattoo is an OC, from a 'customized' setting which originated from the video game Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. (My ego says 10% resemblance to SMT:N, but my humility will call it 25-30%, just to be safe)


End file.
